
It is hot. So hot I want to move. Perhaps Alaska. Is Antarctica too far? It seems like the land of paradise to me right now. I would love to lie down – perhaps have a picnic – on a giant piece of floating ice. That sounds wonderful.
But not here. Here it is HOT. An all-consuming kind of hot. I’m not going outside hot. I am going to sit right here on the couch, drink lemonade and try not to sweat hot. Oh wait, I am sticking to the couch. Perhaps I will lie on the floor. No, still hot.
A couple of days ago when I read the temperature on the car thermometer, it said 105°. Wait, is that some kind of joke? 105°? That is the kind of hot that makes a normal person start to swear and kick things.
So as I contemplated the thought of cooking something, causing more heat, more hot. I said, no. No thank you. That is where this salad comes in. If you feel like being fancy you can call it a panzanella salad. Just a fancy-pantsy name for an Italian bread salad. Throw some tomatoes, olives, cucumbers in a bowl with some toasted bread. Done. But I am not feeling very fancy today. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but it is hot here. It is not possible to be both fancy and hot at the same time. I don’t know if you knew that.
But this salad is good. No, it is GOOD. I mean really, really good. And it is incredibly filling. So if you are feeling sweaty and tired from the heat, you can make this, serve it to your family for dinner and be done. Then finish the whole meal off with a bowl of ice cream. Mint chocolate chip, please. And everybody will go to bed happy. Well, they might still be hot. But at least they will have the most delicious salad ever swimming around in their bellies. And that is worth something, right?
So let’s get started. Now, be forewarned, I used a roasted pepper. But if it is too hot, leave it out. Or, better yet, go to the store and buy a pepper already roasted. Let some other person do the dirty, hot work. You relax. Sit down. Drink a margarita. But it is really good when you roast it yourself. So maybe if you are feeling up to it? No, don’t turn that oven on. You’ll regret it. You might become a person who starts kicking and swearing. Cursing me for telling you to turn on that blasted oven when it is 105° outside. Well I’ll leave it up to you. You decide. However you come across it, this recipe calls for a roasted pepper, which you may or may not include. There, I am glad we cleared that up.
First, you want a cucumber. Now I just happened to have this little beauty lying around.

What is that, you ask? That, my friend, is a lemon cucumber. It is delightful. A little hint of sweetness. A very tender center. And apparently it is much easier to digest than your standard cucumber.

I don’t mind the seeds. I know, some people go all crazy over the seeds. And if you feel strongly about it, de-seed the little sucker. But, me, I eat them up.
I also had a white cucumber.

So I chopped them up and threw them in a bowl.
Next, an onion. I used half of a red onion. And it was really, really big. Can anyone explain why it is so hard to find a smallish red onion? And the small ones that you do find are all gnarly-moldy looking. So you buy a big one. And you end up paying $3 for one stupid onion. No, just me? oh well.

Chop that up and throw it in the same bowl.
Next, tomatoes. I used a combination of cherry tomatoes and a delicious tomato from my CSA. The cherry tomatoes were sweet and scrumptious, while the large tomato added a nice soft texture and juicy flavor.

It looks so normal from the outside. You think, this is just a normal tomato. Then.

Blam. Oh my God. Heaven. Look at it. Look at the color. Don’t you want to take a bite? Grab the salt and lick your fingers? Mmmm.
I even got some help with the tomatoes. Well, help is all very relative to a toddler named Buddy.

I will admit it, some tomatoes were harmed in the making of this salad. Some came away with loads of bite marks in them. Some were squished. They all made it into the salad, however. I promise, if you come over for dinner, Buddy won’t be preparing your meal.
Next, caper berries.

What’s that, you ask? These little ugly critters are caper berries. They look unpleasant. Weird. But they are good. I don’t like capers that much. Little shriveled bugs. But caper berries are a different animal. Well, almost. Along with being larger, the caper berry is much milder than the regular caper. Capers and caper berries grow along side one another, but the caper berry does not have the same burst of acidity that the caper has. Which to me makes it a bit more palatable.

You chop up that blasted roasted pepper, which you are using right? Because it is so good. Adding roasty sweetness to your salad. Oh, right. Too hot. We won’t talk about that pepper again, I promise. And some olives. Throw them in the bowl with the artichoke hearts.

These were grilled artichoke hearts. And, boy, were they good. They had this amazing smoky flavor that added so much depth to the dish.

I couldn’t stop eating them. Yum!
Finally, the mozzarella.

Little balls of heaven. God, I could eat mozzarella all day. And that yummy leftover olive oil that the mozzarella was soaking in? I use that instead of plain old olive oil when I make my vinaigrette.
After everything is thrown together, this is what you have.

You might be tempted to eat it up right now. But wait for the bread and the vinaigrette. They put it over-the-top good.
To make the bread, you chop up your day-old loaf. Which I never have, by the way. Bread does not sit around in our house long enough to get stale. So I always end up using bread that is perfectly soft and fresh. But that is ok. Just toast it longer, and it will be nice and hard, all ready to soak up those yummy salad juices.

I ate a lot of this bread smeared with butter while I was cooking. I couldn’t control myself.
A couple of swigs of oil around the pan.

And toast those bad boys until they are nice and golden brown. It took a while for me, because my bread was so fresh.

Next, make the vinaigrette and poor it over your salad.

Now most panzanella salads use some kind of white wine vinegar. But I used balsamic. I love balsamic vinegar with tomatoes. I don’t think there is any better combination. And this vinaigrette was the cat’s pajamas.
A note about the bread. I don’t add my croutons until about a half hour prior to serving. I don’t like to let my bread get too smooshy.
Stir it up and eat it up.

It took me all of 10 seconds to gobble this up. The first bite was so freaking good.

I finished it up, feeling refreshed. I almost forgot how God-awful hot it was outside. Well, only for a moment. But it was the best moment of the whole darn day.

Panzanella Bread Salad
1 large tomato, chopped
1 pint cherry tomatoes, cut in half
1 large cucumber or two smaller ones, chopped, de-seeded and peeled if you desire
1/2 of a large red onion, chopped
1 very large cup artichoke hearts, chopped
1/2 cup caper berries, chopped
1 cup olives, cut in half
1 cup small mozzarella balls
1 large yellow pepper, roasted till black all over, then peeled, de-seeded and chopped
Combine all ingrediants in a large bowl
Vinaigrette
1 large clove of garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dijon mustard
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/4 – 1/3 cup olive oil
2 large tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
1 good pinch salt
a few turns of fresh pepper
Combine all ingredients in a small bowl, whisk and pour over salad.
Bread Crumbs
Half a loaf of bagette, stale if you have it
Chop bread into cubes. Place large skillet onto stove over moderate heat. Add a few turns of olive oil. Add bread, stirring to fully coat. Cook until bread is golden brown and toasted. Remove from heat. Add to salad half hour prior to serving. Mix salad well. Enjoy!